BASKETBALL DYSFUNCTION ASSESSMENT
This is an entertaining diagnostic evaluation tool designed to uncover patterns and styles of play which prohibit maximum performance.
Even though there is humor in this self-evaluation, perhaps you see yourself in one of these categories.
Categories of Basketball Dysfunction
1. The Gunner:
These players compulsively shoot whenever a basketball is in their hands. Distance, game flow, and degree of difficulty are inconsequential. If the gunner gets the ball--- it’s going up!
2. The Acquiescer:
Acquiesce means to submit, or comply silently without protest. These players will always pass up the shot, (literally). Even when these athletes are midway through their lay-up, if they spy someone open past the three point line, they dish out.
3. The Bricklayer:
They hustle, they work hard, they have no touch. They immediately follow every shot by crashing the boards—even before the ball has left their hands.
4. The Ambulance Chaser:
These players are always out of control, willing to launch head-first out of bounds even down a flight of stairs, for a loose ball. They may even dive under a parked car on asphalt while playing a pick-up game of 1-on-1.
5. The Deceived:
These athletes are a legend in their own mind. They are First Team All-Backyard. They think they are the best, even when no one else does. They think humility is their greatest attribute. They will make their own trophies out of silverware, duct tape and a newspaper if they have to.
6. The Pouter:
These talented athletes have all the skills, but they get tripped up by their lip they stick out when they don’t get their way. The wrong calls, playing time, fouls…it doesn’t take much to ruffle their feathers and make them want to give up.
7. The Hacker:
These players live by the rule, “It’s only a foul if it draws blood.” Hackers foul hard and often. They rarely finish a game without fouling out. The ref usually has to stop the game several times to attend to the injured players they guard.
8. The Apologizer:
These athletes have a continual monologue of groans, moans, sighs, exclamations, “my bad’s”, coupled by headshaking, hair pulling, and browbeating. They think great plays that happen for the other team, while they are on the bench, are somehow personally their fault.
9. The Blamer:
The floor, the pass, the lighting, and the orbital pattern of the moon are all possible excuses for this player not performing well. Nothing is ever their fault. Note, blamers cannot recognize if they fall into this category.
10. The Mental Kobe:
These athletes speak in third person, are often found telling stories of personal success. They yell “And 1” after every shot. They spell team with an “I” and spend countless hours perfecting their autograph. In fact, three full South American forests have been sacrificed solely for the paper used for this project.
The Solution for all these ailments can be found at NBC Camps. One week can begin your cure. Register today.
Even though there is humor in this self-evaluation, perhaps you see yourself in one of these categories.
Categories of Basketball Dysfunction
1. The Gunner:
These players compulsively shoot whenever a basketball is in their hands. Distance, game flow, and degree of difficulty are inconsequential. If the gunner gets the ball--- it’s going up!
2. The Acquiescer:
Acquiesce means to submit, or comply silently without protest. These players will always pass up the shot, (literally). Even when these athletes are midway through their lay-up, if they spy someone open past the three point line, they dish out.
3. The Bricklayer:
They hustle, they work hard, they have no touch. They immediately follow every shot by crashing the boards—even before the ball has left their hands.
4. The Ambulance Chaser:
These players are always out of control, willing to launch head-first out of bounds even down a flight of stairs, for a loose ball. They may even dive under a parked car on asphalt while playing a pick-up game of 1-on-1.
5. The Deceived:
These athletes are a legend in their own mind. They are First Team All-Backyard. They think they are the best, even when no one else does. They think humility is their greatest attribute. They will make their own trophies out of silverware, duct tape and a newspaper if they have to.
6. The Pouter:
These talented athletes have all the skills, but they get tripped up by their lip they stick out when they don’t get their way. The wrong calls, playing time, fouls…it doesn’t take much to ruffle their feathers and make them want to give up.
7. The Hacker:
These players live by the rule, “It’s only a foul if it draws blood.” Hackers foul hard and often. They rarely finish a game without fouling out. The ref usually has to stop the game several times to attend to the injured players they guard.
8. The Apologizer:
These athletes have a continual monologue of groans, moans, sighs, exclamations, “my bad’s”, coupled by headshaking, hair pulling, and browbeating. They think great plays that happen for the other team, while they are on the bench, are somehow personally their fault.
9. The Blamer:
The floor, the pass, the lighting, and the orbital pattern of the moon are all possible excuses for this player not performing well. Nothing is ever their fault. Note, blamers cannot recognize if they fall into this category.
10. The Mental Kobe:
These athletes speak in third person, are often found telling stories of personal success. They yell “And 1” after every shot. They spell team with an “I” and spend countless hours perfecting their autograph. In fact, three full South American forests have been sacrificed solely for the paper used for this project.
The Solution for all these ailments can be found at NBC Camps. One week can begin your cure. Register today.
posted by NBC Camps at
2:44 PM
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