June 02, 2021   |   Tagged Parenting

Key ways parents help their kids to be more committed

Parents have a tough job but like anything beautiful and worthwhile, we can become wiser and better parents. Here are some key thoughts concerning helping your son or daughter with commitment.

• Don't quit. A child who is allowed to give up or quit over and over is in much greater future danger than a child who is required to finish strong. You err on your child’s behalf when you require finishing well rather than if you give in to his or her plea to quit.
• Establish expectations and parameters. If your child loves an activity whether drawing, music or sports, you encourage that passion when you provide space and opportunity for your child to engage in his or her passion. Before you begin, establish the expected parameters. “You can take this art class but you must follow-through until the end of the session. You must attend class ready and prepared. If you are not prepared or have a bad attitude, you will pay out of your allowance for the class.“ All of us don’t feel like doing something even if we love it. That’s why we need the push to work hard.
• Your pressure cannot replace your child’s passion. If you find your child in a hobby, sport or activity where you are driving your child more than he or she is driving him or herself on a consistent basis, stop and ask yourself the following questions:

Question 1: Is this lack of commitment a character flaw in my child? Does he or she start an activity and give up when things become challenging or difficult? If so, have a heart-to-heart with your child about the value of commitment and how key this quality is for future success. Build together a plan of specific ways to make commitment a habit.

Question 2: If you feel your child’s lack of commitment is not a character flaw, find out why your child lost the desire to stay committed. Could it be your child is discouraged in some way by the style of the class or the coach’s teaching methodology? If so, work to find a coach or program that energizes your child to work harder.

Question 3: Do you love the idea of your child in this activity more than the child likes the activity? Sometimes, parents love a sport or hobby so much they want their son or daughter to be involved as well. Make sure your child wants to be in this activity because they enjoy it or like it.

Question 4: A very key question to commitment is, “Does my child have real purpose or drive for excellence?” If your child wants an easy road, the softest chair, the biggest slice of the pie, then you are dealing with the issue of entitlement. Entitlement is solved through service to others. Find a charity to serve or find a way for your child to give back to the community. Entitlement kills commitment. Service, hard work, and humility kill entitlement.

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