Are you afraid to fail? I sure
was. Hold on, I still struggle with the fear of failure everyday. I think
most people are afraid to fail. As humans we do not like to look stupid
or appear as if "we don't know what we are doing." In most cases,
we play it safe in pursuit of looking cool or appearing confident or not
being uncomfortable.
In life, however, you have
to risk failing or looking like an idiot to be good at anything or reach
certain goals and accomplishments. For example, if you want a date to
your high school dance, you have to be willing to face the possible rejection
of someone saying "NO." Or if you want an A on a test, you know
that you have to get 92% of the answers right, therefore you have to risk
failure or something below your goal.
Maybe you want to buy some shares
of stock in a new company so your money can double many times over, but
you have to live with the fact that you could loose it all in the stock
market. Or if you want to hit the game winning jump shot you have to risk
missing and losing. You may have to fail.
There is risk involved with
everything. I always have struggled with risk and I have played it safe
too many times. This past summer at Crowell's Intensity Camp, I shared
how my fear of failure limited me on the basketball court and in other
areas of my life. My fear had crippled me from trying to reach out for
new goals because in my mind I would think: "What would people think
if I fail?" I remember playing in games where I would have an awesome
first half and at half time I would be scared to go out for the second
half because I might not play as good. What crazy thinking? But I allowed
fear to overcome my mind. I was amazed how many of the campers and other
coaches share my same fear. Maybe you struggle with fear as well.
A way to overcome fear lies
in the willingness to fail. A few weeks after CIC, my wife, Jennifer,
and I went back to Spokane to visit my family and get some time on the
lake. My brother-in-law, Shann, was excited to share with me his new summer
love, wake boarding. He was all pumped to get me up on the water, but
I was afraid I might not get up and look like a fool in front of my family
and friends. I started to do the "Man, my knee is really bugging
me, I don't think I should…" garbage. I had to take a self-check
and ask whether I was afraid to fail or if my knee really did hurt? Anyway,
I figured it was fear talking, so I decided to give it a shot and allow
myself fail. I got a lot of water up my nose and I gave everyone in the
boat a lot of laughs, but by the end of the weekend I got the hang of
it - I can't wait until next summer!
When it comes to sports, you
have to realize that you're going to fail. Is there one quarterback in
the history of the NFL to throw no interceptions? No. Or is there one
NBA player who never turned the ball over or missed a shot? No. Everyone
one fails at times. Yogi Berra, former New York Yankee great, said he
loved baseball because you can strikeout seven out of eight times and
still make the Hall of Fame. He allowed himself to fail in pursuit of
his goals. Basketball is the same. If you can consistently make nine out
of twenty shots in game play, you are an excellent shooter. That means
you can miss eleven shots and still be considered great. That is a lot
better than your algebra test, where can only miss one or two out of twenty
problems to get an A.
I am still learning to deal
with my fear, but by allowing myself to not be perfect I am overcoming
that obstacle one opportunity at a time. I keep a quote on my desk that
reads, "Courage is taking the first step, or a different path. It
is the decision to place your dreams above your fears." And that
is my goal. My hope for you is to go after your goals and strive for excellence,
but understand perfection is not attainable. You have to know that failure
is inevitable, and you must be willing to fail if you want to reach your
goals and dreams.
Feel free to drop me an email Jay Crowell if you have any comments
or triumphs over your fears.
