NBC Camps Motivation: Change your world

Forgiveness makes a difference on and off the court.

Bitterness and resentment are toxic emotions which ruin relationships, our joy and even our health. Sports can hold a great deal of these dangerous emotions because of the intense and personal nature of competing. Athletics is replete with examples of athletes needing to overcome negative feelings towards coaches, teammates, parents, and even themselves. Forgiveness research in the area of sports is now becoming more popular but it has been a topic of interest and education for 40 years at NBC Camps. Learning to find freedom and strength is a crucial element toward being the best athlete you can be. Often, an athlete with bitterness toward a father will project unconsciously that bitterness on to a coach which triggers memories of that father. Playing time, tone of voice, open favoritism, coaching style, teammate dynamics and comments all can require an ability to navigate these potentially difficult scenarios well and even come out stronger, wiser and better able to handle future conflict.

For more understanding about learning to deal with unfair and difficult situations using forgiveness read the article "That's Not Fair!" overcoming with life and sports aren't fair

A few facts about the power of forgiveness:

Cardiac patients. The experimental (forgiveness) group became emotionally healthier
than the control group. At a 4-month follow-up, the experimental group had more efficiently
functioning hearts than the control group.

Emotionally-abused women. Results are similar to the above study in terms of emotional
health (decreased anxiety, depression, PTSD symptoms, increased self-esteem).

Terminally-ill, elderly cancer patients. After a 4-week intervention, the forgiveness group
showed greater improvement in psychological health (less anger, more hopefulness toward the
future) than the control group. Physical indicators of both groups showed declines.

At-risk middle school students in Wisconsin. Those in the experimental group not only
improved more in emotional health than those in the control group, but also they improved more
in academic achievement than the control counterparts. At-risk middle school and high school
students in Seoul, Korea. The findings are similar to the above study.

First-grade (Primary 3) children in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Those in the experimental
group were less angry than those in the control group. Randomization is by group; analyses are
on each individual. Third-grade (Primary 5) children in Belfast, Northern Ireland. Those in
the experimental group were less angry and depressed and more forgiving than those in the
control group.

First-grade and fifth-grade children in Milwaukee’s central city. Those in the experimental
group were less angry than those in the control group.

Parents of third-grade (Primary 5) children in Belfast, Northern Ireland improved
statistically (the parents improved) as they taught forgiveness to their children. The comparison
group parents taught art to their children.

Scientific note: The therapeutic studies are statistically moderate to strong (Lipsey, 1990), with
effect sizes typically in the .59 range for emotional health between groups (Baskin & Enright,
2004). The teacher-led initiatives have effect sizes (between groups) in the .28 to .73 range for
anger. The teacher-led programs involve group instruction rather than individual treatment.
There is no direct therapy, but instead there is instruction primarily on learning about
forgiveness rather than forgiving.

A Leader in Sports and in Life Gives Greater Life and Greater Freedom to Others
by Shann Ferch

              One of America's most iconoclastic and gifted leaders did not seem destined for greatness. Born into poverty in a one-room log cabin on Sinking Spring Farm in southeast Hardin County, Kentucky , he appeared to be one of the most unlikely candidates for even regional, let alone national leadership. His hardworking mother and father were uneducated, and farm life, though rich with ingenuity and discovery, was bare existence in the early 1800s in America. The family became impoverished and lost their farm when he was six. His mother died when he was nine. Later, his first love died before they could be married. When finally he married at age 34, the marriage was blessed with four sons, but of the four, three died before the age of 20. He loved deeply, and deeply grieved the loss of those he loved. He taught himself law through rigorous study of borrowed law books as well as by observing court sessions, and he was eventually admitted to the Bar. He became a renowned and convincing litigator, noted for his impassioned and powerfully-reasoned stances against social injustice.

            At age 25 he was elected to the state legislature. At 27 he made his first protest against slavery, saying the institution was founded on injustice.   Over the next two decades of his life he continued to outline, define, and eventually present the moral basis for his economic and political arguments against slavery. In 1860, at age 51, he was elected president of the United States. Three years later his Emancipation Proclamation legally ended slavery in America. Abraham Lincoln[i] is unanimously recognized by historians and scholars as one of the greatest American presidents.

            Famous for his role in helping to end slavery, one of his most meaningful contributions as a leader was his ability to build a humane intellectual and political community that could sustain formerly unattainable goals of morality and conviction for the betterment of humanity. "How does one build community?" we might ask him, and Lincoln's reply might be found in his response to a reporter who questioned Lincoln's appointment of Edwin M. Stanton as Secretary of War, one of the highest cabinet positions. Stanton had been a vindictive, even hateful opponent of Lincoln during Lincoln's bid for the presidency. Even so, Lincoln stated, "He is the best man for the job," and then said, "Besides, if you make of a friend of an enemy, do you have an enemy any longer?"

            In time Stanton became arguably Lincoln's strongest supporter, saying of Lincoln after Lincoln's assassination, "Now he belongs to the ages. There lies the most perfect ruler of men the world has ever seen."



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[i] My favorite biography of Lincoln is by Stephen B. Oates. Painstakingly researched, the book took Oates nearly a decade to complete and contains a potent narrative of the graceful interior life of Lincoln in the midst of so many external storms. See Oates, S. B. (1994). With malice toward none: A life of Abraham Lincoln. New York, NY: Harper Perennial.