November 27, 2023   |   Tagged Parenting,

Are you a parent with foresight? How lessons from Winston Churchill can make you a better parent.

Parenting requires foresight.

What exactly is foresight?

Foresight combines the lessons of the past with best practice of today for the wisest plans laid for building a strong future.

Synonyms: Prudence, Farsighted

Examples of Foresightedness:

• Building and practicing an emergency plan
• Saving for an emergency fund
• Investing in education to become a valuable hire and a well-read leader
• Laying the foundation of infrastructure for future programs

What is a lack of foresight?
Winston Churchill does a masterful job of laying out the list. Let’s look at each one.

Unwillingness to act when action is simple and effective: There are many examples in history when there was a failure to take action. The two biggest reasons tend to be fear (don’t know what to do) or apathy (not a big deal). Each person, family, or community tend to gravitate toward one or the other. Either way, there is blindness to what needs to take place and the person has his/her head in the sand.

Consider...when have you been blind to the action steps because of fear or apathy? This often leads to us kicking the problem down the road, prolonging having to deal with it.

The best way to move out of unwillingness is to write down action steps you can take right now. For example, if you find you are out of shape start taking simple action steps. Drink more water for three days, put your fork down between bites, get one thousand more steps per day, and stop eating candy for one week. These first steps could help you march quickly toward your goal.

Lack of clear thinking: Have you ever wondered, “What were they thinking!?” They weren’t. Quality problem-solving and clear thinking require two key qualities: peace and self-responsibility. If there is a loss of common sense, there was first a loss of one of these two. Lack of responsibility is apparent in excuse-making. Statements or thoughts such as, “I just did what I was told, I didn’t know what to do, someone else was in charge, I was going along with it,” become the norm. Another loss of clarity emerges from a lack of peace. An increase in fear, anxiety, and depression creates muddled thinking and an inability to focus. Peace contributes to our ability to think, react wisely, problem-solve, and select the best option as a solution.

Confusion of counsel: Have you been in a situation where there are multiple experts and counselors in your life giving you different advice? There is wisdom from a multitude of counselors and points of view that allow you to discern the best path forward but there can also be too many choices on the table. Decision fatigue from too many options wears us down and we can make a reactionary choice based on emotion or impulse. Wise counsel is a key piece of the ability to develop foresight. You cannot do what you do not know. Select mentors who educate you in your areas of blindness. What are your weaknesses, deficits in personality, temperament, and family background? Who is a mentor worthy of imitation in the areas you are weak? This counselor is crucial because he or she will help you make the wisest choice that wouldn’t come to you naturally.

A set of young parents sat down with their daughter and wrote out all the character qualities they wanted to see in her life: a deep meaningful faith, respect, and appreciation for diversity, quality thinking, and decision making, compassion as well as tough-mindedness, to name a few. After writing down these qualities, the parents take action steps to help this happen in their own lives. Compassion is difficult to teach if there is none in the home. Self-discipline is difficult to cultivate if no one has it. Parenting is tough because the best practice of it lives within the crucible. Being too strict is ineffective parenting just like being too soft is ineffective parenting. In the paraphrased words of the inimitable Martin Luther King Jr., power without love is abusive, and love without power is anemic and ineffectual. Foresight takes the lessons of the past. Foresight also learns from the present, each child is unique and requires wisdom to parent with nuance, sensitivity, and intuition. Some kids are easier to parent in some situations. Foresight provides parents with tools to help build qualities a child needs for his or her future.

Quick Questionnaire

What qualities would you like your son or daughter to develop?
What deficits frustrate you about your son or daughter and how can you recognize this in your life? (Remember the comparison will not be one-to-one but there will be a link.)
Kids pick up more than we say. What are you saying to your kids through your body language, interest levels, and interactions?
What is foresight as a parent and how can you help build the strongest future for your son and/or daughter?

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