May 05, 2022 | Tagged Parenting,
Using feedback from your kids and your interactions to be a better parent
Gathering feedback from your kids is an important parenting task. Sometimes we believe we are having a quality relationship, but our children are experiencing something different.
Words, physical touch, and non-verbal cues are the best barometer of a relationship. Take all the words you say and put them in an imaginary clear jar. Inspect the jar. What kinds of words do you find?
Healthy word jars: Words of encouragement, kindness, polite tones, respect, gratitude, and self-responsibility.
Unhealthy word jars: blame, anger, yelling, pouting, silence, riddled with to-do lists, tasks or shortcomings, criticism, comparison.
Take all the interactions with your child: the amount of touch, the type of touch, the non-verbal actions and put this in an imaginary clear jar. Look closely like a scientist at this jar. What do you find?
Healthy interaction jars: loving hugs, ease, and peace, kind and grateful eyes, warmth, peace, joy, laughter, respect, flexible.
Unhealthy interaction jars: frosty, cold, bitter, eye rolls, distance, aloof, dangerous, harmful, disrespectful, rigid, stubborn, angry, rageful.
If you find you have jars that are unhealthy, the work lies with you, not the child. Too many parents want to blame the child for the unhealthy jars, but these jars can be perpetuated by our own generational trauma and poor parenting methods. Healing change begins with submission to real mentoring and accountability. Great parents have great mentors. Parenting without feedback is a recipe for unhealthy relationships. You are as good a parent as the quality of the feedback you receive and receptivity to feedback you prove in your parenting.
Thank you to all the NBC Basketball Parents committed to parenting to the best of their ability and who are raising amazing young men and women. We love our NBC Basketball Parents!
About NBC Basketball
NBC Basketball programs are committed to health and excellence on and off the court. Part of the NBC Camps mission is to encourage parents to be their best. For more information about NBC Camps visit www.nbccamps.com .